The Power of MusiK

Ahh.. the simplicity of a good Phil Collins beat bestowing upon your ears, every so slightly your mood comes down to a soothing luke-warm version of a 7-11 coffee. Hold the sugar. It's amazing what music can do to the soul, let alone your sex life. The mood transitions going from one song to another, is fascinating to witness. For instance, you can do a little play-along with this blog. Just put on Phil Collins - Do you Remember (if you have any respect for music, you hopefully will find this song somewhat amusing). You'll notice the calmness and realness your starting to feel within yourself, now is the time to say sorry to that fat girl on the corner, when you rolled down your window and asked her where the nearest hot dog stand was, and not to lie considering she looked like a cross between the hamburglar and shit. Next... put on "Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run", considering what your stance is on homosexuals, this next song should get you pumped up to an extent.. this is where that bLunka sensation slowly seems to creep in.

But there's only one artist out there that prepares me for going on interviews, and nerve-racking shit that life throws your way. This phenomenon is called 2Pac. "Niggaz Nature" usually does it for me. or "Fuck Friendz", it's amazing what happens to me when I put this on driving to my destination. Picture Godzilla with Uzis in both of his paw's. I'm unstoppable to say the least.. it's weird though, cuz when I pull up to my destination, i have that all thugged out fearless attitude, which is good to have... unfortunately when I shut off these great in your face real lyrics that pump me up more than john basedow, the silence that bestows upon me when I take the keys out of the ignition is a sight for sore eyes. I lose that thug attitude, and i turn into that once loving Pokemon pretty faced Italian boy that treats girls with more respect then a PBS infomercial.

End of story. Love.

Southern Girls

As a nice humble, overly excited spastic of an italian young boy from Long Island.. i speak with no experience, ZERO experience to be exact of the amazingness that i believe in my heart a southern girl brings to the table over what i will refer to the other side as an Uptown Girl. Im drawing this conclusion on a few things, one!! most of the females that inhabit Long Island are like... let me try drawing this picture without being too harsh. I want you to draw tits and vagina onto a blackboard.. and then try holding a conversation with it.. dont forget to liquor it up first. What you will witness is a convo that will get nowhere, and an opporunity to mack with someone who probably is as uselses as a dune bug. Your starting to see this weird slow transition of.. not so much a role change in our society.. not even a role reversal, but a complete role DEMOLISHED.. not saying the ladies should or even are obligated to cook, clean or anything like that.. But NONE OF THEM COULD EVEN COME CLOSE to doing anything like that. Are southern girls different?.. are they cute, able to hold convos without referring to a past experience involving drugs/alcohol?.. can some of them actually cook - To clarify my.. most likely non-sensical rants, im referring to the young females of our generation aging from 18-26.. Generalizing is stupid, i found that out the hard-way when i dressed up as Egon from the Ghostbusters..i started shooting slime all over myself.. and people in junior high school thought i was a faggot when it was the day before halloween, but please... whats going on?

Its time to eat my dinner, my mom just cooked me a cheeseburger with curly fries.. case and point, my mom is a lovely italian lady with the cooking abilities of emeril, that makes no sense.. nor does this post probably.. im not even going to re-read it, so shut those lips, find me funny.. give me attention and tell me im pretty good looking.

Turning 21!!!!11!1!1!

Well, it's official.... i can't have children. Just kidding qt pants, i'm 21 years old. And now that this glorious day has come and passed like a hint of bazil in the homemade red sauce momma makes. I must say, now what else is there to conquer besides the intellectual dominance of fellow humans. Well, its called love. True love. But some have there own opinions of this glorious word, some say.. its what we live for. Well.. unless your a homosexual. just kidding.. you experience love as well, except that you won't be able to have grandkids who will reiterate your story of love. That is unless you adpot, which then you might be a story of ridicule, unless you had money. That is actually so horrible to say.. so i will take that back without using my delete key. Ok more onto this soulmate stuff. I don't know if i believe in it yet.. why?. Well, for starters i'm listening to Brown Eyed Girl, and there is not a brown eyed girl sitting next to me waiting for snuggle time.

Which leads me to my next point, snuggle time. Is there anything better you can get from a relationship from both perspectives, excluding sex of course. Because , i mean.. even if your not horny at the moment.. When you are and that moment comes.... magic. Well, excluding snuggle time.. there's even better reasons to find your true love. One.. i would like to add, is if your strolling down the L.I.E. or even sunrise highway for you cute folks near the southshore and "My Girl" happens to come on the radio. You can lower it a bit and say.. "listen.. i can now finally relate to this song". You might have a black eye after stating something so unbelievably rainbow like. But, its a truism. And you can never regret stating a truism.

Also.. i think you know you reached the point of true love.. when lets say your fellow lover wants to grab an italian ice.. and you say "i cant, because i hafta shit".

Love.. and blunka, keep it real.. lol, i should probably re-read this random babble of greatness.

my first bJ experience

O no.. silly geese out there, i'm not referring to the infamous blowjob. I'm speaking of something better. Something that feels better not only by mere comparison of the human nerves but... better for the soul. I am of course referring to the second gayest thing in the world. A billy JoEl concert. In actuality, i don't refer to it as being gay.. but there's an underground hatred towards him amongst the hip-hop community. I will not tolerate this, his voice is too soothing, and his lyrics hit home too many times for this to go down.

With that out of the way, i will try to write my first bJ experience.. administered to me by a very old man. His name Billy Joel. And of course im referring to his concert if you didn't know that already. It was a glorious Monday morning, and i awoke to what was to be a very splendored day and an even better evening. I went about doing what i normally do, surf all the ESPN channels in hopes that i see that John Basedow (fitness celebrity) commercial. because i cant stop laughing. His head is so god damn big for that body, and it just doesnt fit. He was and will always be a human mistake. Anway, lets fast forward to the wonderful evening.

It was April 24th, 2006 and was supposebly his last concert in New York @ madison square garden. I was more pumped than john basedow. I was like John Basedows offspring getting ready to outdo my fathers fitness made simple videos by making "fitness made even simplier videos".. ok enough of this tool slut. Anyway, so were sitting within i would say 5 rows of him, from the rear stage. And to write about the entire evening would be a joke.. so im just going to try to sum it up in one sentence. Actually im not... but all i know is there was countless amount of singing very loud and dancing with random ladies, one very old one who grabbed my ass and had my mother getting slightly upset. I of course was ok with it, because by grabbing my ass.. i realize now how i would have much rather she not done it.

random fact : jumping into bed directly after a shower is pure bliss

Security Blanket

Before I go into a random post.. which does nothing for anybody but eat up time.. essentialy then making the man/woman/alien thing upstairs upset.. the question I have for you is --- is it weird to still have a security bLanket, when your turning 21 soon.

Anyway, imagine.. after you die- and your in heaven, but initially... your floating up in the air to the likes of "Styx - Come Sail Away". Anyway, upon arriving, you find out that all the dreams you've ever had in your ENTIRE life.. pieced together create this ultimate movie that you watch.. and find to be the most crazy shit in the world. And then after watching it, you turn around to see Jesus, and God giving you the thumbs down, only to smile and tell you everything will be alright. Lol, i apologize - thats stupid. Anyway, you know gods a billy joel fan because of his great lyrics and beats.

Back to the security blanket. When i was a young toddler, upon escapting the ever-so-smelly fetus of my mother.. it was official. Captain qt pants was brought into this world. It's also official that this is official, there's transcripts of that very moment. The doctor first said "nice ass".. then my mom went "excuse me asshole, deliver my baby".. then the doctor said "no i mean your son.. captain qt pants". Then my mom said "soon this will be blogged, and the world will hear of this moment". Well upon wrestling with the umbilical cord which was wrapped around my shoulder.. i almost didnt make it. I'm hear today, and i can officialy say - when i came home from the hospital, i was given a blanket by my grandmother. And its been with me ever since.

Which leads me to my next point... gay marriage. I mean, the only stance i have on this issue comes from a straight italian male, whos masturbated to other ladies for 18 years, and im 20. Thats a joke, i can go into the intial masturbation period for males in another post. But, its obvious that you can see where people do not like it, because they associate it with being gay in general, where if you don't like gay people, screw the marriage thing. It's a way to sort of get a personal view on an issue which is in a way uncontrollable in society, to now have a little grasp on it. Wrong? .. i would say so - It should be illegal for drug dealers to get married, or my father and my uncle, in which then they would be brothers wed forever, in what would most likely not be harmony. But what i'm saying is.. let it go. There doing themselves a dis-service, i love the ladies. And imagine you have this huge generation of your family going back to 100's of years.. and with the luck of the draw, your only son is gay. UP! - there goes the family name.

Case and point... me and my blankey are out, hit me on the down low suga!

Blunka

Hi there.. how are you today?... hmm let's see how i can start off which will probably be of great greatness for both the reader (you) and the writer (captain cute pants - aka me)..

It might make sense to start off stating what my blog will initially accomplish. The simple answer is absolutely nothing. The long answer would be.. that it may be life changing. I will probably rant on how my week, day, month, year has been or is going.. and encorporate some sort of philosophy behind it on why life is so great.. or why it is not. By the way, to clear up any misconceptions up to this point.. life is great. As the great jason mRaz stated, it is wonderful and it is like building a crane or something.

Now.. to understand where im going with this... you must come to a complete understanding of the word bLunka (pronounced " bluennnn KA ".. as in the color blue with a N attached to it.. bluennnn KA). It's a word most famously invented by me and a cousin of mine who goes by the alias Tony. Now to the meaning of bLunka. It's that really excited feeling you get that lasts between 2-5 seconds.. any longer and your dealing with "Major Blunka".. very rare.. but it occurs. You sort of spazz out, your so excited.. its like a rush for 2-5 seconds. Not like that movie gone in 60 seconds, thats like being depressed for 2 hours. A clear example of this would be this scenario "its a cold winter night, and you see a nice cozy bed.. all made neatly, with a cup of hot chocoa next to it.. you leap under the covers and pull them over your face, and you start spinning like some retarded cannoli.

Hopefully you got this far.. i'll end by quoting my grandmother.
"Keep a smile on your face, and a prayer in your heart"

... lots more to come